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Best Records Of 2009 December 20, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Music, music for dudes, wankery.
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Unlike last year, which I spent mostly in a haze of reissue nostalgia with the equivalent of aural comfort food, this year was split in half between great new-to-me discoveries (The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart, Skeletonwitch, I Was A King) and incredibly solid late-career offerings, sandwiched between two absolutely titanic metal releases: Mastodon’s Crack The Skye and Baroness’ Blue Record. I also spent a summer getting weirdly addicted to 70s and 80s dub records, for which I have no real explanation except that Mad Professor, Scientist and King Tubby are awesome.

I make no claim to listening to every single album released in a given year, so this “best of” is my favourite of whatever penetrated my consciousness in the last year of this kidney stone of a decade.

Mastodon – Crack The Skye
Shrugging off the claims of hipster metal* that they’ve been sagged with since Leviathan, Mastodon take their already-existing penchant for prog-rock that was circling around the edges of their music and blows it up to epic proportions. Crack The Skye is a no-shit concept album about (among other things) astral travel, Russian mystics, teenage suicide and the Devil, pretty much in that order. 70s prog metal is the cornerstone musically, but that doesn’t stop the occasional detour into surf rock or Rush-style time-signature mindfuckery. Crack The Skye is the sound of a band for whom barriers officially no longer exist. And just for the record, I would murder somebody for a Mastodon/Boris collaboration.

Dinosaur Jr. - Farm
Fitzgerald be damned, because it turns out some American stories do have a second act. Dinosaur Jr., once on the short-list of Bands That Will Never Ever Reform Because They Fucking Hate Each Other along with the Huskers and The Smiths, buried whatever hatchet they had about five years back and, this year, cranked out a perfect companion to 2007’s Beyond. Actually, Farm might edge out Beyond - it keeps the trademarked massive Mascis guitars but adds some sharper songwriting and a weird freak-country vibe to some tracks. This might not be as flat-out essential as Bug or You’re Living All Over Me, but at least this past year I played Farm more than I did those. There’s something to be said for aging slackfully.

Sunn O))) - Monoliths & Dimensions
There’s a difficulty with putting Sunn O))) on this list, because I genuinely thought this was the best album I heard this year, but given what Sunn O))) is – the absolute extreme end of the experimental metal/drone spectrum – it’s sorta hard to recommend cold. This is the kind of music that reveals itself slowly, over many listens, and one that requires a lot of the listener in order to appreciate. That said, the last track “Alice” (a reference to John Coltrane’s wife, which makes more sense than you might think) is a revelation, starting from the usual doors-of-Hell-opening dronescape of detuned distortion horror and slowly crawling it’s way towards an airier, disarmingly beautiful resolution. Monoliths & Dimensions is not friendly, and it won’t meet you halfway. But it’s the most uncompromising, powerful music I heard this year.

Baroness - Blue Record
I loooooved Baroness the second I heard their first full-length, Red Album, back in 2007, which was basically Mastodon if Mastodon met at a Fugazi concert instead of High On Fire. The Blue Record ups that ante quite considerably – instead of the songs feeling like a collection of admittedly awesome riffage stitched together, they sound more like, well, songs. The album is sequenced together incredibly well, so much so that when a song from up pops up in a random mix I almost invariably feel compelled to load up the whole thing and listen to it start to finish. The only potential misstep here is the opening to “Steel That Sleeps The Eye”, which is probably the closest I’ll ever get to liking Kansas, but even that resolves itself into much asskickery. Put it in a cage deathmatch with Crack The Skye for metal record of the year.

Polvo- In Prism
Even among indie and alternative fans of the 90s, Polvo was a criminally underappreciated band. The mathiest of the so-called math rockers, Polvo’s wild tunings and lurching rhythms would make even Lee Ranaldo pause. The albums weren’t always successful front-to-back, but even the songs that didn’t work certainly held your attention. Flash forward twelve or so years and suddenly Polvo resurfaces with a record that keeps what made them so interesting but turning up the rock portion of their math-rock equation to much more satisfying levels. Perhaps it’s the inclusion of a new drummer that makes Polvo Mk. II a better, stronger rock outfit, but most of the credit must go to Ash Bowie’s maturing voice, which winds it’s way through the hills and valleys of In Prism more organically than before. The year’s best surprise.

Shrinebuilder - Shrinebuilder
Most supergroups stink. Sad, but true. All too often, supergroups try to find some tepid middle ground that manages to satisfy none of what makes the members’ original bands musical impulses. So imagine my bewilderment at Shrinebuilder, a band composed of Dale Crover (Melvins), Scott “Wino” Weinrich (Saint Vitus), Al Cisneros (Om, Sleep) and Scott Kelly (Neuosis), which manages the trick of leaving each members’ unmistakable music imprint intact while creating something unique to all of them. Cisneros is the key here, as his bass lines have the same kind of loopy hypnotism found on those great Om records, and clearly the rest of the band builds on it. Best track is unfortunately the first one, “Solar Benediction”, which manages to move from the stoner vibe you’d expect from these four dudes into some odd and off-puttingly beautiful territory. Also: best album cover of the year, hands down.

Sonic Youth - The Eternal
I’m getting tired of telling people that Sonic Youth are still good. Before The Eternal, they hit a career high with me with 2002’s Murray Street, the best guitar record you’ve never heard, and the subsequent records were almost as good. But The Eternal sees them finally leaving the warmth of the major labels for the mighty Matador Records, and as if to celebrate their return to indie status Da Yooth hand us a record that could snuggle comfortably between Sister and Daydream Nation. There’s a glorious diffusion reminiscent of the old SST days on The Eternal that was missing from this decade’s Geffen releases, but Sonic Youth have progressed beyond noise-for-noise-sake and now use sounds and tones like a grand master uses paint. You know, at this point they might actually be eternal; it wouldn’t surprise me to awaken from cryogenic sleep one hundred years from now to discover they’re still making awesome, awesome records.

Slayer - World Painted Blood
Holy fuck, what a kick in the teeth this record is. Listening to this is like watching a bouncer in his fifties who looks like he might be past his prime suddenly turn around and kick the living shit out of a gang of teenagers. After getting Dave Lombardo (who is to drums what a jackhammer is to a sidewalk) back in the fold on Christ Illusion, Slayer shift into high gear and deliver what might be their best record since Seasons In The Abyss. The thrash songs alone should shame bands half their age.

Tortoise - Beacons Of Ancestorship
Another under-the-radar release from Tortoise, and a huge improvement on their last somewhat tepid record. Tortoise never released anything that I would call bad, but they also seemed to be one of those bands that for better or worse were not capable of surprise anymore, which is sad because they were maybe the most innovative bands of the 90s, fusing rock dynamics with jazz instrumentation and a cut’n'paste Krautrock mentality. But Beacons Of Ancestorship find Tortoise stretching out in all directions, from the hilarious techno deconstruction of “High Class Slim Came Floatin’ In” to the hardcore bass blowout of the unpronouceable “Yinxianghechengqi”, Tortoise manage to tweak and fiddle with genres while still being unmistakably Tortoise. The second half of the record retreats into more familiar territory, but that shouldn’t colour the highs of the first.

* In other words, bands known outside of the readership of Terrorizer magazine.

Dude Movies: Star Trek (2009) December 5, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Dude Movies, Movies, Nostalgia, nerds.
3 comments

What’s it about?
Alternate-universe Star Trek: The College Years crew team up to fight the evil Romulan evil plan of evil to destroy the universe out of spite, pretty much.

Any chicks in the movie?
Zoe Saldaña as Lt. Uhuru, who looks like Nichelle Nichols run through a Beyoncé brand hottifying machine.

Awesomeness Factor?
Warp 10. By all rights, the ancient and wheezing Star Trek franchise should have been hung out to dry a couple of decades ago, were it not for the life support granted by fandom’s most irritating dweebs.* Director and geek saviour J.J. Abrams, who can apparently do no wrong, wisely moves away from the dramatic inertia that’s plagued the series since The Next Generation days and replaces it with what Trek should have been all along: crazy-ass spaceman adventures in space. Abrams and his screenwriters understand that, at it’s core, Trek is really fucking stupid, so whenever the story calls for some patented Star Trek sci-fi twaddle like “I have opened the control valves to the matter-anti-matter nacelles”***, Abrams wisely decides to have the cast speak it as possible in order to get to more of the good stuff, like Kirk and Sulu swordfighting Romulans**** or watching entire planets blow up. They also make the indescribably wise decision to move away from the absolute dominance of the Kirk/Spock/McCoy dynamic to up the badass quotient for the rest of the crew, making it a more organic ensemble piece than the source material ever felt. The movie also looks great, too, positing a bright utopian future where spaceship bridge decks can be mistaken for an Apple Genius Bars and green-skinned chicks from Orion can really party. Given Abrams’ propensity for coating every corner of the screen in lens flare, watching this new, revitalized Star Trek is not unlike the feeling of being a baby and having a kindly uncle shake his keys at you. Sure, it’s juvenile, but you gotta admit those keys are shiny.

Mitigated by?
But speaking of the script: time-travelling through wormholes? Really? Ooooooh, I bet the next movie will have a holodeck mishap.

* Seriously, I’ve been a hardcore geek nerdboy my entire life and even I can’t stand Trekkies. They have this weird sense of both entitlement and superiority, which is ludicrous because Star Trek has the intellectual depth of  Teenage Mutant Ninja** Turtles comic. They’re kind of like the nerdverse’s version of Republicans.

** I just wanted to write the word “ninja” again.

*** Original series, season 2, episode 22, “By Any Other Name”. Because even though I hate Star Trek, I also seem to have it memorized.

**** Not sure what the deal was with the Romulans, who aren’t styled as wild rage-o-nauts so much as slightly perturbed Tool fans. Also, note to Hollywood: face tats do not make people look edgy, it makes them look like gay bikers.

Dude Movies: NINJA ASSASSIN November 27, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Dude Movies, chop socky.
1 comment so far

What’s it about?
Korean pop sensation Rain is Raizo*, former member of a super secret ninja clan that is now trying to kill him because he accidentally showed weakness for like a second, except he’s also trying to kill them because he’s… NINJA ASSASSIN!!!

Any chicks in the movie?
Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later plays a Europol agent who believes ninjas are, like, totally real. No skin, because I guess between all of that shuriken sharpening and training montages ninjas don’t have time for the nasty.

Awesomeness Factor?
Deadly high. Director James McTeigue, who previously made a miss-the-point adaptation of V For Vendetta, makes the smart decision to shoot NINJA ASSASSIN** like a horror movie, with the role of the monster replaced by an army of semi-supernatural ninjutsu who don’t tend to stealth kill their enemies so much as eviscerate them from the shadows like a Ginsu knife demonstration gone horribly, horribly wrong. We are talking about a philosophically profound level of violence here – if you have a problem with the sight of flesh getting cut, sliced, diced, puréed, whipped, chained, beaten, shot, stabbed, gouged, and then cut some more just in case, then you have made a very poor movie-watching decision. NINJA ASSASSIN is to the cutting of human flesh as the Twilight series is to making 12-year old boys suddenly realize they’re gay, by which I mean it happens about once every twelve seconds of the movie’s runtime. The structure*** and the plot**** of the movie is laughable, and the acting from Korean pop sensation Rain is negligible.***** But quite frankly, anybody who goes to see this for anything other than watching ninjas fight the shit out of each other must clearly represent an epic marketing fail. Where it counts, NINJA ASSASSIN delivers the kind of ridiculously violent sword-fighting, shuriken-flinging, limb-lopping good time that I haven’t seen since the heyday of NINJA III: THE DOMINATION. Just maybe pass on the popcorn for this one.

Mitigated by?
I forgot to mention the presence of Sho Kosugi, aka Bad-Ass Ninja Man Who Was In Every Ninja Movie Ever, as the leader of the evil ninja clan. Remember how he fights Rutger Hauer at the end of Blind Fury? Oh, Blind Fury. Where’s your collector’s edition DVD?

* Which is Japanese for “Korean pop sensation Rain”.

** The title is too awesome to not type in all-caps every time.

*** Which is basically exposition, then ninja attack, then FLASHBACK! repeated ad infinitum.

**** OK, seriously: these ninjas show up and literally slaughter whole buildings full of people, lopping off their limbs and skulls like a knife going through really bloody butter and leaving every available wood surface impaled with throwing stars, and you’re telling me Europol CSI can’t do shit with that? Ninjas showed up in Vegas and William Peterson would have had those dudes on ice in like half an episode. Also, just a quick pointer for the next secret ninja clan that builds their secret hidden base on the secret side of a secret mountain: might want to block the only fucking road up there so that the ATVs full of soldiers can’t just drive up.

***** Lucky for him the movie basically only really asks him to look brooding in the rain, which I gotta admit he’s pretty good at. Maybe he can star in the Twilight spin-off about ninjas that twinkle.

Sloth Vs. The Record, Part VIII: Bonus Update! November 20, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Uncategorized.
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Hey, all. Couple updates in the latest round of KW’s Christians versus the godless heathens:

1) My letter, in all it’s untouched snarkiness, was in fact published today. What’s way more surprising to me is that I wasn’t the only one who wrote in – over the past couple of days, there’s been quite a few letters written in admonishing those in our community who believe that “Canada is a Christian nation” and, thus, the Christians among us have rights over others. This does my heart good because, as an everyday reader of the letters column of The Record, it’s all too easy to believe that this community is comprised entirely of religious fanatics who would like to silence any that do not follow whatever doctrine they do.

2) Idrisa Pandit, the woman who was interviewed by The Record about this (and who did not, as I originally had assumed, written in a letter herself) contacted me this afternoon to correct just that. I won’t quote from her personal email to me here, but she did note that she was asked by The Record for an opinion on the Gideon sales of Bible literature to children, and gave it. They also asked her religion, and she told them. So this is not a case of a Muslim woman writing a letter in to admonish Christianity, but a case of an opinion asked for and given, only to find that herself villified and slandered by her neighbours for offering that opinion.

So there you have it. It’s 2010, and we live in Canada, supposedly one of the most liberal places on Earth – just not so liberal that a Muslim woman can have an opinion that is in any way critical of a Christian group, for any reason. Of course, the more cynical among us would go so far as to say that The Record asked her for her religion because they knew it would cause a controversy. But perhaps I’ll leave that as a question for the comments section of this post.

Sloth Vs. The Record, Part VIII November 17, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Living In KW, Take that God!, angry old dudes, old people suck, religion.
4 comments

Oh, religion. Is there anything you can’t make retarded?

So there’s been a minor kerfuffle in KW lately because a parent had the temerity to complain that the Gideons were hawking Bibles to the grade five classes of KW’s public schools. Not the Catholic ones, mind you. Public schools. As far as I know, no other religious texts were being offered. The Gideons sent along a form to all the parents asking if they wanted one for their kids, which you could accept or not.

Still, the idea that a religious textbook is being offered to children via the supposedly secular school system rankled some. One parent wrote in a letter to the editor of The Record outlining her displeasure. She also foolishly mentioned she was Muslim.

Cue that to open the floodgates of idiocy from the usual suspects.  As an example, Ken E. Roberts wrote:

I cannot understand why Idrisa Pandit is upset about Bibles given to children in Grade 5 at their request only. This is not forced on any one. If other religions can also do it, no problem.

Let’s face it, Canada is a Christian nation and on any given day non-Christians will see many things relating to this. Why would any one get upset about other people’s beliefs?

Hear that, Muslims and other non-Christians? Canada is apparently a theocracy now! You have to face it!

From Doreen Yarascavitch:

I am disturbed by a mother who is Muslim and doesn’t think the Gideon Bibles should be distributed in a secular school. What difference should that make to her? The parents and children in that secular school had a choice to accept or decline the Bible. She declined, and that is her choice, and that is fine — but she shouldn’t impose her non-Christian belief on others.

She can choose who and what she wants to worship and what book she wants her children to read, just as others should have the same choices. Why should we change our ways to suit her?

So… Muslims shouldn’t impose their non-Christian beliefs on us while we’re trying to impose our Christian values on theirs? That sounds totally fair!

Anyway, here’s my missive of snarkiness:

To the people currently feigning surprise that non-Christians might be upset at Bibles being passed out in secular schools, I have a suggestion. First, find a dictionary. Next, look up the definition of “secular”. Does that help any?

While we’re at it, let’s drop the pretense that the people who support the distribution of Bibles to grade-schoolers would also be fine with any other religious or atheist literature that tried the same. (I would give you a reading from my desktop bull detector, but I’m afraid it exploded today after I read the Letters column.) One can only imagine the storm of controversy had a group asked to pass out, say, the Koran or copies of Dawkins’ “The God Delusion” to grade schoolers. Heck, we had a group who wanted to put atheist signs up in buses in Toronto and that was enough for two week’s worth of hand-wringing letters to The Record, a good hundred or so kilometers away from those signs.

And “let’s face it, Canada is a Christian nation”? Really? Since we’ve got that dictionary handy, why don’t we look up “theocracy” while we’re at it. Either that or you’ll have to explain to me how Stephen Harper can speak ex cathedra.

Dude Movies: Crank 2: High Voltage November 4, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Dude Movies, Man Crushes, Movies, hard in the pants.
4 comments

Crank 2: High Voltage

P216/0300

What’s it about?
In the best sequel idea since Chow Yun Fat played his own previously unmentioned twin brother in A Better Tomorrow II, Jason “Chev Chelios” Statham wakes up on an operating table (after having survived a fall that would have liquefied any non-Statham) to find his heart being replaced with a big-ass battery.* Hey, we’ve all been there, right?

Any chicks in the movie?
Amy Smart returns as his girlfriend, and the deeply unpleasant Bai Ling shows up as the World’s Most Irritating Prostitute. How Bai Ling gets work in movies is beyond me. She’s got a body that looks like somebody stapled her head on top of a rubber novelty chicken.

Awesomeness Factor?
Stratospheric. Crank 2 is like the Platonic ideal of an action movie, profoundly unconcerned with the pedestrian narrative concerns that plague other sadder, lesser movies that don’t have the balls to be Crank 2**. It’s a movie that is more than willing – eager, you might say – to cut away from a scene to show you a ferret’s ball-sack or the massive man-shaft of a thoroughbred racehorse for no real reason. It’s a movie that gets real-life Bible-thumpin’ moron Corey “I’m Still Alive?” Haim to not only play a mulleted loser pimp but then has Amy Smart beat the ever-living shit out of him for laughs. Technically, it has the elements of what would constitute a normal motion picture, like a plot and characters, but then tosses them away so that Chev Chelios can jack himself with a power grid transformer or shoot up a strip club full of people who had the extreme misfortune of not being Jason Statham. Meanwhile the insane perverts behind the camera throw enough avant-garde film treatments and camera trickery at you to fuel a thousand student film festivals, unable to focus their attention on anything for longer than a few seconds without trying to either blow it up, fuck it, or both. If DVD rental places had any balls at all, they would replace all the Criterion Collection discs with burned copies of Crank 2 instead and, when you opened the case, Statham’s fist would jump through time and space and punch you in the face.

Mitigated by?
The only mitigating factor is that maybe Crank 2 didn’t make enough money for there to be a Crank 3, but I refuse to live in a universe where there is no Crank 3. My guess for the next one: He’s just, like, on fire all the time. TRADEMARKED!

* In this incredible ability to resurrect himself  Statham is like Jesus, if Jesus wasn’t such a fucking pussy.

** Like, I don’t know, Schindler’s List. That movie would have been like twenty seconds long if Statham was Liam Neeson.

HELLO? IS THIS THING ON??? October 29, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Uncategorized.
3 comments

Wow, so I haven’t posted since August, huh? Nutty.

So recently a few people have come told me that I should post on my blog more. To them I say: How much does it cost to read this? What’s that? Zero point zero dollars? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.

But seriously: I blame a few things for my lack of blogitude. The first: games. You non-geeks don’t know this, but we’re in the midst of awesome game season. I can barely keep up with the crazy awesomeness spewing out of my Xbox. I mean, the only reason I’m not playing Borderlands RIGHT NOW is because… actually, I’m not entirely sure why I’m not playing Borderlands. I wonder if I can slip Shorty a mickey and get in a few hours…

The second: Twitter and, to a lesser extent, Facebook and Google Reader. A lot of the impetus to share things that I find on the internet, or that seemingly unstoppable desire I have to spew out weird, pointless things to an invisible readership, is pretty nicely served by Tweets and the like. (You can get me at themadkevin@twitter.com, or under my real name on Facebook.) So that leaves the blog for longer-form writing which, ever since the quiet demise of the GenXine, I’ve found harder to make time for.*

But my former GenXine editor A. might be starting up another movie-related blog soon, so perhaps it’s time to dust off the writing chops. God knows I’ve watched enough Dude Movies in the past few months. (Oh, Wolverine: Origins. Why do you make it so hard for me to love you?) So, no promises, but perhaps I’ll try to crank out some more reviews on a more regular basis.

The third: NEW MUSIC TOYS. I recently bought myself a really nice Vox practice amp and a goofy multi-effects unit, which does a whole lot of crazy stuff without doing anything really well. Except MAKE A SHIT-TON OF NOISE. Which, really, is all I care about.

So, as a little Hallowe’en treat for all y’all, here’s a little something I’ve been working on. It occurred to me that my music sounds like it should be a movie soundtrack, so this one was a conscious effort to make something that would fit into a John Carpenter movie. Please to enjoy, and I’ll talk to you kids soon:

WIZARD PLOW!

* I have a weird thing where I find it easier to write if I know it’s going to show up in print somewhere. Writing solely for the web seems ephemeral and weightless, but even if it’s just for a zine that’s destined to end up in local hipsters bathrooms, I find it’s more of a reward knowing my writing eventually will show up on a bunch of dead trees stapled together.

The Great Shearing Of ‘09 August 24, 2009

Posted by madkevin in beards, narcissism, nerds.
12 comments

First:

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Then, the “Deadwood”:

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Followed by the “Ron Jeremy”:

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Until:

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Say, Is That A Wand Of Fire In Your Pocket? July 30, 2009

Posted by madkevin in D&D Harlequins.
9 comments

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I consider myself to be a pretty well-read dude, but there’s a minor branch of the literary tree I was unfamiliar with until quite recently: NASCAR branded Harlequin novels. Let that sink in for a moment. Harlequin novels. With NASCAR branding.

I know you don’t believe me, but take a quick walk through Amazon and you’ll see I do not lie. Amazingly, the level of prose is even better than you’d expect. Allow me to excerpt a particularly illuminating passage from the novel Checkered Past:

He quirked an eyebrow. “Any other dark secrets?”

“Just one.” She drew a deep breath and exhaled a rush of words. “My family is pretty rich.”

He didn’t look surprised.

“Really rich.”

He shrugged. “I noticed the fancy labels on your clothes last night…”

She blushed. “One of the reasons I never slept with anyone before was because I never knew if a guy liked me for myself or because of who my father is.”

Now he looked interested. “You do mean seriously rich.”

“My father is Brian Hudson.” She buttered her toast and waited for the other shoe to drop.

Kudos, Harlequin romance writer. That last sentence is so good it’s a wonder why every other writer in the world computers didn’t just spontaneously combust out of envy.

But this got me a-thinkin’ – if a market for NASCAR romance novels exist, then surely there could be other markets waiting to be tapped like a trembling young debutante awaiting her first glimpse of Fabio man meat. But what’s the hoariest adage about writing? Write what you know.

And with that, I present to you a selection from my forthcoming Dungeons & Dragons branded Harlequin romance, tentatively titled Eighteen Charisma:

The air around the gaming table was electric. Rebecca had never noticed how… sexy the smell of root beer mixed with stale Cheetos could be.

Brock, the dungeon master, looked deeply into her eyes. “An orc mage appears in the doorway to the castle. He seems to be preparing to cast a spell. What do you do?” His voice was tender, but it veiled the absolute authority of one who ruled his fantasy realm with an iron fist.

“I… I’m so new at this,” said Rebecca, avoiding Brock’s eyes. “I fire an arrow at him, hoping to disrupt his spell.”

“Then roll the dice,” Brock purred. “Roll them hard.”

Rebecca picked up the 20-sided die, her senses heightened with anticipation. “A 10. Is that good?”

“Not good enough,” said Brock scooping up the dice with the practiced movements of a veteran. “The mage looses his magic missle towards you.”

Brock rolled the dice. “A natural 20,” Brock said, the smirk in his voice betraying his pleasure at his dice-rolling prowess, his eyes on fire at the promise of yet another conquest. “Critical hit.”

“Is that bad?” asked Rebecca, fully knowing the answer.

“The magic missle penetrates your shallow defenses, blowing past your weakened armour, and thrusts itself towards your soft, white flesh. You gasp at the size and power of it.”

“Take me, my dungeon master!” exclaimed Rebecca, no longer able to control herself. “Quick, before your parents come home!”

Harry: Week 38 June 19, 2009

Posted by madkevin in Harry.
3 comments

Some pics for those of you who are not privvy to the Flickrstream. First up, an extremely rare picture of Harry in repose:

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Awwww. Looking at him like this, you’d have no idea he was capable of great, great evil.

Next: Wet dog!

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Harry being wet poses a bit of a conundrum for him, because while he hates being wet, he also hates being towelled. So usually he just looks all sad and dejected for a while, until he gets irritated enough with being moist that he deigns to allow us to dry His Royal Dampness.

Seriously, look at that face. He looks like we force-feed him a diet of gruel before sending him to his twenty-hour shift at the salt mines. Which is ludricous, because by law the shift can only be, like, sixteen hours.

Last: Planting a flag on Mount Kevin:

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I’ve mentioned his bizarre fetish about being on my head, right? Well, here’s proof. If you think this is weird, about thirty seconds after this was taken he proceeded to French-tongue my ear canal. That’s wrong on at least five different levels.